A few things about Ghana and my life these days

These are things that I see/do on a daily basis that I just wanted to let everyone else know about while they still seem new to me before it becomes natural. It's the things that I am about to tell you about that make me laugh everyday and really make me enjoy my time here.

1. Pointing out the blatantly obvious is not only done regularly but it is pretty much expected, and no one will make fun of anyone for doing so. Example: I was washing my clothes the other day (picture clothes in bucket of soapy water, me physically scrubbing my clothes) and 4 different people came through my yard. Each and every one of them said something along the lines of “Oh, you are washing your clothes.” I tend to be a bit on the sarcastic side so I really had to restrain myself from saying “Nope.” This could be about anything from eating to going to take a bath.
2. That brings me to my second point. Sarcasm is not understood here. At all.
3. Relating back to point 1: people repeat 50% of what you say back to you. Example: I say, “I am going home.” Someone replies, “You are going home?” At first I thought people were mocking me, then I realized that this was their normal conversation pattern, and then my sense of sarcasm kicked in…
4. “I’m coming.” In the states this could have many meanings, but usually you say it when you are physically going towards a person like if they ask you for help you could say “I’m coming” as you actually get up to go and help them. In Ghana it is a little bit different. “I’m coming” actually means the person is leaving you. For example, say you are having a conversation with someone and they have to go and do something, they would say, “I’m coming” as they are actually physically walking away from you. It is also perfectly acceptable to use this line of a person who is trying to sell you something that you don’t want to buy. Just say “I’m coming” as you wave, keep walking, and never come back.
5. One phrase that makes me laugh every time I hear it is, “Are you sure?” I haven’t quite figured it out yet, but I’m pretty sure it is meant as a joke in most situations? A person would say this to you after you make a statement (serious or not serious) and they either don’t believe you or want to pretend they don’t believe you. Either way I think it’s hilarious.
6. I also really enjoy the rhetorical questions. People tend to use them a lot when they are giving lectures, speeches, or giving you information of some sort. They pose the question and then immediately answer it.
7. For those of you who still have a hard time differentiating between your left and right (be honest) just come to Ghana for a few months and you’ll be sure to figure it out. In this country (not sure if it’s in other countries also) it is VERY disrespectful to engage other people with your left hand. You would never give them anything, take anything, gesture towards them, or sometimes even eat/drink with your left hand. If it just so happens that your right hand is busy (covered in food, crippled, holding something) you have a few options. You can use your left hand if you say “sorry left”, or cross your left arm with your right arm to signify that you know it isn’t right. This has become almost second nature now, and I quickly notice when I see people using their left hand inappropriately like in movies.
8. The logos and phrases I see on clothes are phenomenal! I notice great ones almost everyday but I quickly forget. Some of the ones I remember seeing are Aldis (for my Buffalonians), Phillips, Playboy (always makes me laugh), other sexual comments which I will not include, Gucci, Vogue, Northface, and many more.
9. Dis ting. What is a dis ting you might ask? Well you see the meaning is constantly changing. Dis ting is a phrase used for almost anything imaginable that you either don’t know the word for or have forgotten the word at that time. For example: “I bought some of the dis tings at the dis tings, but I didn’t see the dis tings.” Translates into: “I bought some of the rice at the market, but I didn’t see the cucumbers.” This might be a little dramatic and it’s usually only used once in a sentence and you have to try and figure out what the person is talking about. I have heard it said multiple times though and there’s just no way to make any sense of what the person has just tried to tell you. It is kind of like how we say “whatcha-ma-call-it” except we would stumble and try to explain the noun we were referring to. Not here. They just move on like that is a perfectly acceptable thing to call whatever they are talking about without even the slightest worry that you won’t be able to figure it out.
10. Finger snapping. I suck at this. In Ghana, it is customary to shake hands with people a lot. This would be fine except then you are expected to finish this hand shake with a joint snap. As you are releasing the other person’s hand, you grab onto their middle finger, and you both use the other person’s finger as the starting point for your snap. I’m terrible at it. I can only get it about 70% of the time.
11. Speaking of handshakes, they aren’t always “normal” handshakes. In the states we do maybe between one and four shakes (unless we’re realllllyyy excited about something). Here it is more of a hand holding while you talk to the person. This includes greetings, questions, random conversations, political matters, the weather, etc. This hand shaking process can take anywhere from 2 seconds (if you’re lucky) to 10 minutes if they are also trying to get your phone number and request your hand in marriage….
12. This brings me to my next point. Never did I ever imagine that I would have so many marriage proposals at the young age of 21. I think the most I got was 5 in one day when there was a funeral in town. I have come up with a number of strategic way to diffuse the situations including “I’m married”, “Ok sure, pay my father 500 cows”, “I don’t know how to cook or clean”. Along with many other lines that only work sometimes.
13.  “You are invited.” This is a statement that you will always hear when food is being served. The person is inviting you to come and share the food that they are eating. Usually the person invited doesn’t actually go and eat unless this was a previously planned thing, or they are really close. If you don’t invite those around you to your food it can be taken as offensive in some cases. The response, if you are not going to eat, translates to “I am satisfied” or literally to “My stomach is full” depending on the language.
14. Taxi and tro (small busses) rides. Taxis are made to hold 5 people (4 passengers and the driver) and tros are usually made to hold 12 people (11 passengers and the driver – except for some larger tros). These are basically just guidelines though which are rarely followed. Drivers will try to fit in as many people as physically possible before they are satisfied. So most of the taxis are very small cars that hold 3 people in the back and then have two bucket seats in the front. I’ve been in several cars with 4 people in the back, and 3 people in the front which means 2 people are squeezed into one bucket seat – I’ve heard it gets worse than this though. The most people I have ever been in a tro with is 18… it was tight.
15.  “Snot rockets.” I don’t know what else to call this without using this slang term, but for those of you who don’t know what snot rockets are it is when a person turns their head (sometimes), plugs one side of their nose with their finger and blows the other side onto the ground, and then usually repeats this process for the other side. Not only is this habit extremely common here, it is also perfectly acceptable to do in all situations. Along with buggers, let’s talk about picking your nose. Also extremely common, and perfectly acceptable at all time. 

Well that it’s for now. I hope that these aren’t all things that you have to personally experience in order to find amusing. Welcome to my life!